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Think about your children and how it will effect them

I am a cheater and I don't know how to stop

I discovered online chat and was instantly intrigued

I almost broke up a family

I guess I got what I deserved because I was a "cheater"

He thinks kinky sex is doing it with the lights on...

Never mind your husband thinking kinky sex is doing it with the lights on...

i recently began having an affair with my cousins husband...

I always cheat on my men and i try so hard not to...

When I snuck out the front door, there was a huge camera on a tripod in the street...

Why are you women so surprised when you find out your man is having an affair

I want this guy to get what's coming to him...

whats wrong with everyone today...

I have not cheated - YET...

I think that his wife should have known that he was cheating

RESPONSE TO "I WANT THIS GUY TO GET WHAT'S COMING TO HIM"

Think about your children and how it will effect them
Trust me...don't get involved with anyone online...it only leads to heartache and infidelity...I hurt my husband and children terribly and I'm so sorry for that now. I didn't meet this guy I met online in person...I almost did...but couldn't go through with it....my husband and I split for a while and then I finally came to my senses when I ended up in a mental hospital for depression. It got so that all I did was chat online and never slept and it finally caught up with me. My advice would be to never even put yourself in a situation like this.....EVER! If a man flatters you and you don't get that at home, it feels good....but if a man online drops you a line like that...you better bet that you aren't the ONLY ONE! On the other hand I know that some online relationships do work...but if you are married and you put yourself in that position(vulnerable)...you will get burnt eventually....so don't even go there....trust me....IT'S NOT Worth IT!!!!! If you aren't happy in your marriage...try counseling...anything but computer dating...it definitely will not help your marriage! Think about your children and how it will effect them...not to mention the other people around you that you love. You become withdrawn....and don't realize it until you are too far in....Take this advice from someone who knows! It's not worth it!!!!
Sincerely, I've learned my lesson

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I am a cheater and I don't know how to stop.
I've been married for 10 years and have 2 kids. A friend introduced me to msn chat room about two years ago. It looked like a lot of fun. My husband even got a kick out of it. But then it started becoming a addiction for me. I even downloaded it at work and started chatting there. And thats where I met him. He came across with a nasty comment at first and I told him off. He apologized up and down and started being so polite and extremely funny. We just clicked. I gave him my email and he gave me his. We started mailing each other very long emails every single day. I just couldn't get enough of him and he made it seem like he couldn't get enough of me. Then I made the mistake of giving him my work number. I just had to hear his voice. After mailing each other for four months, he called me at work. We've sent picture to each other. I even open up my own PO Box because he wanted to send me gifts. We live 2,000 miles away from each other but that didn't seem to matter. At first I didn't believe he wasn't married because he told me he couldn't call me from home because of his parents. I thought, what is a 28 years old guy doing living with his parents. He's a certain religion and they are opposed to relationships other then their own religion. Well he no longer lives with his parents because he started his first year of residency in another state. Now he wants to talk to me on the phone more often. But I can't because I'm married and he doesn't know that. I keep coming up with excuses every night. But it did get to the point where we text each other and every chance I get I call him from my cell. He even knows my home number but swears he'll never use it. My internet man and I have been going together for almost two years now. And yes we have phone sex whenever we get the chance. He keeps telling me he'll pay for my air ticket just to go see him. We tell each other "I love you" a lot. I've tried breaking it off with him using any excuse I can but he keeps calling me back and begging me back. I can't stay away. Please someone advise me. Don't get after me, just advise me. I need to stop this. It's controlling my life and I see that, but I can't seem to do anything about it. I'm weak and I don't want to hurt my husband and kids anymore. Please help....

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I discovered online chat and was instantly intrigued
This is something everyone should read - I have seen both sides of the coin. About 9 years ago when I was single and very naive, I discovered online chat and was instantly intrigued. Soon, I met and began an online relationship with a handsome, charming (aren't they always?), fascinating man who said he adored me and showered me with gifts. After 6 months, he convinced me to move across the country to be with him. I was truly in a fantasy world, and felt like a princess. After I sold my things and moved, the fantasy began to crumble after 3 months. His false persona started to fade to reality, and I discovered that he actually had MANY online love interests, and was, indeed, deeply addicted to internet porn, chat, and phone sex. When I confronted him, he made every excuse he could think of to make me believe I was insane and imagining everything. I felt like a fool for falling into the whole mess. Having made such a huge change in my life, and feeling too stubborn and embarrassed to admit I had made such a terrible mistake in judgment, I stuck it out for 5 more months! We were both in denial. He denied anything was going on, and I didn't want to face it. He was so clever and deviant, I had no way to prove he was actually doing anything wrong. My online "soul mate" became increasingly verbally abusive, manipulative, and distant. He eventually just became careless. By the time I moved out, I had surmised through cell phone bills, credit card receipts, and A LOT of desperate attempts to link him to someone real, I was able to prove to myself that he was having affairs - both online and offline - with as many as 10 other women. I actually contacted a few of them and they were shocked to find out he had a live-in girlfriend. He had even given them false names. The bottom line is, I wish I had a product like this back then. It would have saved me a lot of grief. Yes, I could've used better judgment, but after reading the other testimonies, it sounds like I was not alone in my temporary lapse.

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I almost broke up a family.
I am now glad I personally woke up, and did not do it. I am a divorced 37 yr old woman. I remember opening my computer for the very first time, tried chat, and to my surprise, met a wonderful man. He is married, has two children, and a wife........I am the one with whom he cheats his wife with, for our relationship went on from the net, to meeting in person, and we both fell in passionate love. But after two years of waiting and hoping, I terminated the relationship. It was not right. I knew he did not want to leave his kids. I did not want him to chose between both. There is a six hour drive between us. He lives in the states, and I live in Canada. The situation was complicated more and more. We were seeing each other often in the first year, until his wife found out.......then I felt bad, all the trouble he was having cause of me. We continued chatting over the net, but it was going nowhere, I admit getting lonelier by the second. He was not here with me. I luckily took time off on my own, and decided I had to terminate the relationship. I had asked him to let me go. And he did. His wife is still there with him at home, and the kids are there too. I am glad it is over, and I did not go down to break up a family. I woke up, knowing it could not have gone further, even if he had told me he was breathing every second for us to be together one day. Today, I have met another man, closer to home I might add, and I feel free, honest, and truly in love. To all the women out there........think for a moment before getting involved with a married man, the consequences are so bad. Think of their children. That is what helped me. There are tons of available men out there. Please think it over before ever cheating on someone. It hurts so much. I know my heart got broken by him, and he has taken a piece of my heart away forever. That cannot be repaired ever. I still think of him, I still look at his picture from time to time, wondering simply WHY. Why did I take this chance. I now regret it even having started the relationship. It hurt me more than her. Please think always before reacting. I was on the other side of the medal, and boy is the road long.

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RESPONSE TO "I WANT THIS GUY TO GET WHAT'S COMING TO HIM"
First, make sure YOU break off all ties with him -if you cannot do this, what you are probably feeling is guilt, not empathy toward the "poor" wife. Second, if you really want to advise her (wife) think over the issue of responsibility - he may have lied to you, but now you know the truth. Call her yourself, it will have more impact if you own the problem as well as hold him accountable to her. - an interested reader

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I think that his wife should have known that he was cheating....

I recently started working for a road construction company about 5 mo. ago. well to make a long story short I've been sleeping with my supervisor who is married and recently had a child in august. well we were really into each other alot we called each other every day and he would always come and see me no matter what. have you ever heard that song they stand just a little to close and talk just a little to loud well that was us and the company we worked for they really knew something was going on when they recieved his company phone bill that was 2500. dollars just from calling me. so they demoted him to a heavy equipment operator and soon after somebody told his wife about us and he thinks it was me and wont talk to me now. I think that his wife should have known that he was cheating on her anyway and for him to cheat on his wife for 4 months than obviously he didnt love her that much anyways. I relly loved this guy and dont know what to do.

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I have not cheated - YET....

I have not cheated - YET. But, I've been giving it more and more thought lately - to my shame. It has NOTHING to do with how much I love my wife. I love her very much and go above and beyond the call in showing her every day. And I do believe that she loves me, too.

I guess I should start from the start: We've been together for about 7 years and the first 3 were great! I can honestly say that I never had even the mildest thoughts of cheating on her. I was incredibly happy with our lives together - including our sexual relationship. The past 3 1/2 years are another story.

She has lost all apetite for sex. She swears that it's not just me but that she simply has no sex drive now. Of course, since I'm the only one she's supposed to be having sex with, the result is the same either way. But what really upsets me about this is that it seems as though she has no desire to correct this problem - and has even implied that I'm just expecting too much. Just for reference, we have sex about once every three months and have gone as long as 4 1/2 months between sessions. And, even when we do have sex, it's not intimacy or love; it's "Fine! Let's get this overwith so I can get some sleep!" or she'll just lay there while I 'do' her. I usually feel worse afterwards than I did before. TIP - Ladies, if you don't have a sex drive, don't just put out for your man until you get that corrected. Trust me, if you're not enjoying it - neither is he! And, if he is enjoying it, then it's not love he feels for you!

So that brings us back to today - and my thoughts of cheating. I see other women that have that spark in their eye and you just know that they enjoy sex to it's fullest. And I'm just dying from envy! What I would not give to have a woman look at me again with that desire. And, if you're thinking that I'm some slob that has just let himself go to pot since we got married, I can honestly say that other than my hair thining a bit I look just as I did the day we met. I'm 6' 1" tall, 180# and athletic. And, when I said that our sex life was wonderful before, that includes her being very adventurous! She once pleased me orally in the bedroom while a repairman was working on the furnace downstairs - without the slightest provocation from me, no less! How I miss those days!

So, I guess the moral of this story is that you can't tell your spouse, "You're not getting any from me!" and then truly expect them NOT to go find it somewhere else! Humans are sexual creatures! Even those who deny themselves that pleasure (such as priests, nuns, etc.) still have the desire - they just refrain from acting on those desires. That's why it's called a 'sacrifice'.

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whats wrong with everyone today....

hey there.. i have cheated on mostly all the girls i have been with.. but afterwords i feel guilty as hell and i think to myself that i should enjoy being a player like this.. but the truth is i don't.. but i wish i could.. whats wrong with everyone today, we shouldnt cheat!

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I guess I got what I deserved because I was a "cheater"....

I'm really glad to have "chanced" upon this site. It was a comfort go read the messages here and it made me feel better to hear the different stories and realize I was not alone (I knew I wasn't but it's hard to find those of us whose lives have been crushed from our men). I guess I got what I deserved because I was a "cheater". I was in a marriage for two years and was not in love with my husband so I did go on the computer for attention. I would see these women that would hook up with these guys online and thought they were so stupid, "I would never do that!". Well, I did. He was from a different state and I felt that we were "close" because we talked so often. I felt I really knew him. We moved in together without even meeting in person. He was younger but I was in love. Six months after being together he told me he went to work one day, that night his boss called wanting to know if he would be in the next day since he was off this day sick. Imagine my surprise. He told me that he had actually went out with some guy friends and was afraid to tell me, afraid I'd get mad (I never complained about what he did or did not do). To make a long story short, turns out he went to meet his "online love" from before me. I found this out because I figured out his email password and read her letters. I started packing it up to leave but he talked me into staying. Saying she was a "good friend". I got her home phone number from him and made him call her husband to tell them they had met, which he did and then I spoke to the husband. Of course, I thought it was over. Well, let me tell you...it didn't end there. We have been together for several years now and only 4 months ago I found phone numbers in his wallet. One was a stripper, one from the other lady in his life. The letters I have found on his computer are crushing. He always told me that he can't be responsible for what others write, only what he does. Well, I was able to crack his other email address (cheaters love to have multiple addresses) and finally saw what he had wrote and it crushed me. Things like "I'll love you forever" not to mention the horrible things he said about me. I found a full frontal naked picture on his computer of himself. His excuse...I was making a Valentine card for you hon. I never believed him but couldn't prove it so I let it go. He told me that he would NEVER send naked pictures to anyone. That was wrong too of course. We use to play games with others in tournaments and I found out that all the women had that picture. One night he said he got drunk and spent the night at his friends, when I received the cell bill I found that was a lie, he called me that morning (after I threatened to report my car stolen to the police) from a hotel in Vegas. This last incident with the girls phone numbers and seeing what he wrote in email was the final straw. I not only threw the lying cheat out of my home, I threw his sorry ass in jail as well.

I felt as if a huge burden had been lifted because I have been dealing with internet affairs with him for three years. I started feeling good about myself again because cheaters do make us feel horrible about ourselves. We are always asking them "what's so bad about me? what does she have that I don't?" We start feeling ugly and worthless. We turn from these nice happy go lucky people into depressed, horrible people...I wanted to mess up the women who were involved with him so bad. I would never do what they did. Destroy homes like that. Then again, is it there fault? No, it was his. So, after several months of starting to feel good about myself again, what do I do? I went back with him. He talked me into going to a counselor with him. I should have just said no but I didn't. In our discussions this is what I found out...his 2nd wife had left him for another man and it crushed him. Made him feel undesirable. At least that's his excuse. He did admit in counseling that he is an internet addict. That he craves attention and can't help himself. He says he's different now and when he gets bored, he'll do something else like work on the cars.

Yes we are together. We have two computeres and neither are hooked up. Are things better? Is he cheating? Am I glad I hung in there? I don't feel he is cheating and he may never again. However, I don't feel it will last. He could be a saint right now but he ruined my trust. I can and never will trust him again. I think it's sickening that we can't have a computer hooked up in our house any longer because he can't control himself. I think it's sad that I have become the type of woman that has to check his wallet and pants to see what he is up to. If your man is like this, run, run as fast and as far as you can. Don't let him back because you can never recover that which is lost. For those of you that do cheat, I truly believe what comes around goes around and hope and wish that every single one of you feels the hurt that we have had to go through. Women/men always look good on the internet because you don't have the daily challenges real life relationships do. If you are thinking of cheating, is it worth it? Is it worth losing the love of significant other? I don't believe that crap that I read on here about us women deserve it because we aren't doing our men right. It's what it's always come down to...most men think with their penis.

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He thinks kinky sex is doing it with the lights on...

I hate to say it.. but i cheat on my husband. He thinks kinky sex is doing it with the lights on.. if only he knew.

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Never mind your husband thinking kinky sex is doing it with the lights on....

Never mind your husband thinking kinky sex is doing it with the lights on, we think kinky sex is cybering with women and pretending we are guys, it's hilarious cos we send pic's through of various guys an all!! it's a hoot, you would not believe the things that are said, but to us the laugh is on them :-)

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i recently began having an affair with my cousins husband...

Im a 25 yr old mother of 2 who has been married for 8 yrs..i recently began having an affair with my cousins husband...i know in my head i wouldnt appreciate someone doing me this way but at the same time i feel like if u ladies cant take care of ur man ...someone else will.

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I always cheat on my men and i try so hard not to....

Hello people...i am a cheat. Its not because i dont love my man its because i love the excitement and adrelinen rush. I always cheat on my men and i try so hard not to. I am engaged now and cheated on my fiance with my ex-husband. It happens. I never want my fiance to leave me. If my fiance ever cheats on me he will be out the door...cause i know once a cheat always a cheat!

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When I snuck out the front door, there was a huge camera on a tripod in the street...

I started to blame my husband for my unhappiness. I was on an emotional roller coaster, and he was an easy target. I told him that I wanted a divorce, and threw him out. I started to go out to clubs to dance and would do the stupidest things when I drank. One night, I drove to a friend from work's home drunk. I ended up sleeping with him, but don't remember the details. I did wake up really disoriented. When I snuck out the front door, there was a huge camera on a tripod in the street. My husband had watched everything from outside and called his friend to bring a camera. He was following me around. He told me that he was even more attracted to me, and wanted to get back together. We did for a while, but a few months later I didn't come home one night. I had been at a party, and was up all night. He flipped out, and wanted a divorce. I was freaking out, and ended up overdosing on pills twice in one month. I spent a month in a psychiatric hospital. I found out that I am bipolar, and antidepressants alone were making me worse. We are back together now, but it is hard to get over such hurtful events.

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Why are you women so surprised when you find out your man is having an affair...

Why are you women so surprised when you find out your man is having an affair, have you ever thought of the reason for his doing so.Usually its because youv'e become boring , the sex you used to have is just a dream , i dare say he has tried to"fire" it up on ocassions only to be told , "I have a headache" " Don.t be silly , I'm not doing that". Don't forget , for every man cheating there has to be a woman, well in most cases anyway. Why dont you women try a little harder. I will tell you one thing for sure, should YOU ever cheat on your man I bet you any money you like you would do things with your lover that you wouldn't dream of doing with your man, and that ladies is why we men cheat. This message is also aimed at the men who are being cheated on , get it together or you will lose her, but as the old saying goes. " Familiarity breeds contempt" Just think on that then go out and enjoy the forbidden fruits of sex.

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I WANT THIS GUY TO GET WHAT'S COMING TO HIM...

SOMEONE PLEASE PLEASE HELP ME. I JUST FOUND OUT THE GUY I'VE BEEN SEEING, ACTUALLY EXCLUSIVE WITH FOR ALMOST THREE MONTHS IS STILL MARRIED! THIS IS NOT THE FIRST TIME HE HAS DONE THIS APPARENTLY, THEY ALMOST GOT DIVORCED NOT A YEAR AGO BECAUSE HE GOT CAUGHT WITH SOME GIRL NOT HALF HIS AGE! I FEEL HORRIBLE BUT ID DIDN'T KNOW. I WANT TO TELL THIS POOR WOMAN, SHE HAS TWO KIDS WITH THIS GUY. SHE WAS GOOD ENOUGH TO FORIVE HIM ONCE, I HOPE SHE GETS SMART THIS TIME AND LEAVES THIS PATHETIC LOSER. I KNOW I WOULD WANT TO KNOW, BUT I DON'T KNOW HOW TO TELL HER SO IT DOESN'T COME BACK TO ME. DOES ANYONE KNOW A WAY I COULD DO THIS ANONYMOUSLY? PLEASE HELP- I WANT THIS GUY TO GET WHAT'S COMING TO HIM- WHAT A SCUMMER!

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