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My boyfriend and my one of my old high school girlfriends cheated on me....over a lengthy period of time. Both had acted like they were on my side. When my boyfriend did admit he was troubled...he could not reveal why. I became suspicious when he was able to open up to her instead of me and was even more suspicious when they BOTH confided in each other because she was having problems with her own boyfriend as well. I thought my security blanket was that we've been together for 3 years and nothing could break that and even moreso, I trusted my best friend whom I've known since my freshman year in high school and had even welcomed into our house when she first moved into town. Her motives became so clear. He finally admitted he did have feelings but vowed to repair our relationship because he was just confused to begin with. My condition was that he stay away from her and I made the conscious decision to erase her from our daily lives (as she used to be). But months from this agreement....I discovered 40 pages of chat logs that were hidden in his computer. I never knew the internet could be such a detrimental thing to relationships. There were grueling and intimate conversations. My blood boiled to see words of betrayal come from her. She had initiated the relationship and was even trying to convince him it would work. She would repeatedly tell hiim she wasn't happy with her man and would be better off with the two of THEM together. There were times when she would even make an alibi for them to be together. It was heart wrenching to read. I printed out these forsaken pages and threw them in his face. He moved out. I never stopped loving him and we remained amicable for the most part. Eventually after time apart...we've reconciled our relationship and have exiled her from our lives and our social circle....someone who I thought I knew so well. Today we are stronger that we've ever been but my security is so weak and fragile. Sometimes I find myself being a private investigator just to calm my worries. I wonder if I WILL live the rest of our lives together like this...or I even CAN.
I have finally got a taste of my own music. Of all the boyfriends I ever has this one was the only one I have never cheated on. I have cheated in the past but never got caught. A couple of saturdays ago I was concerned about my boyfriend going out with his buddies. Not wanting to say anything I said no problem and told him what time I would be home. We both talked and hung up no problems. We have been together for 4 Years living together for 3. Its hard sometimes but I never never thought he would hurt me in any sort of way. The monday following that saturday I was listing to his Voicemails and I hear this fat girl who we both hung out with on it saying she wants him to call her if he ever wants to see her agian. Oh mY GOD.. I was soooo angry ... saddness took over and I couldnt contain my tears.. crying and crying i called him.. told him what I heard..he blurted out nothing happend.. i dont even know what she is talking about.. I called her she said they all went out!
and nothing happend. SOoo I know something happened since I have no "Real" proof Im confused. I am still with him but not a day goes by that I dont bring it up.. we fight, i cry, he crys, nothing seems to be getting better!. Whats my next move. I am now depressed, I dont eat almost at all now. Cant sleep, I know im making my self throw up. its horrible. To top it off we were getting married in 8 months. I have completly shut that down. Whats my next move?
 
My live-in boyfriend and I have been together for 3.5 years. He has been secretly keeping a cell phone and making and receiving phone calls from a number of women while I am at work or out of town. I suspect that he is doing more, but I lack the proof since he conducts most of communications over email. I have no idea what between us is real anymore.
I need help! I have been living with my boyfriend for 3 years. Basically, after all this time we've been together, I'm starting to realize that he's REALLY hooked on internet porn. I don't think he's a big chatter or is having an on line affair, but he looks at it so damn much! I have found messages that he's posted to message boards (which pissed me off), but ultimately, I tried not to make a big deal out of it and shrugged it off. But here's what REALLY drives me NUTS.... I have tried to be understanding (to him) to the fact that almost ALL men look at porn and masturbate, but I'm just not sure how much is too much? I don't want to jump all over him just cause he looks at it (like most guys) but we have sex like once MAYBE twice a week and I want more BUT I think he masturbates so much that he doesn't have any desire for me when I want sex. I have talked to him about this, yelled at him, and threatened to leave him! But all that happens is that he chills out on the porn for a while, but then he's right back at it almost everyday I think. When I confront him about the porn, he gets SUPER defensive and tells me that I give him no privacy, that living with someone for so long kills sex drive, and that he is NEVER going to stop jacking off - which I never asked him to do, but I wish that he would be a little more understanding to how I feel. When I tell him this, he just says that I'M selfish and I only think about myself. On the other hand, he also tells me that he loves me (blah blah blah) and it's just fantasy-no harm. Well it's no fantasy that I'm not feeling wanted and that I have been considering hooking up with other guys to see where it takes me. I almost feel like anything would be better that that weekly "handout" or "service" that he gives me because that's what it feels like. REALLY guys, I try to look at the guys' point of view about the porn thing, but how much is too much? I think he looks at it 5 or 6 days out of the week - whether he masturbates every time, I'm not 100%, but I'm pretty sure it's almost every time - and probably more that once in one sitting. Is this the average or is that getting a little crazy? I need to know because I don't want to cheat on him for something that every guy does! Sometimes, I feel like I just need to get used to it because when I find the next guy, I'll be dealing with this crap all over again.
My boyfriend cheated on me with a woman 4 years older than him which would be 17 and he got the both of us pregnant!! I nearly died and I had to give up my kid for adoption
Someone else wrote: Watch out for excuses. I suspect that my boyfriend of one year is cheating on me. His behavior has recently changed. He doesn't call me any more. when I call, he doesn't pick up the phone. At times I call three to four times a day and even leave messages but he doesn't return my calls. He claims that he is too busy. I understand that calling during work is not appropriate but if I call on the weekend, he takes off his phone. We have not seen each other in about four months. He stays far away from me but when I suggest that we meet he claims the same thing. It has been long and I want us to have sex. I'm afraid he is getting those services from somewhere else. Should I approach him for answers? should I just keep quiet? I don't know what to do.

My answer: If you haven't seen him in four months and he's refusing to talk to you on the phone, HE'S NOT YOUR BOYFRIEND! WHY do you want to continue a relationship with a guy who is so blatantly ignoring you? At this point, it sounds like you're stalking him, and the only thing missing is a restraining order. You will not get a response from him no matter how many times you ask for an answer. Leave him alone and get on with your life.
 
My boyfriend went back home to visit his parents, and things with us were going great. For the first time in my life I was in love, and I trusted him with all of my heart. He told me how much he would miss me and couldn't wait to get back into my arms where he felt so happy. One night I woke up from a bad dream, and for the first time in our relationship I felt like something wasn't right. I checked the online dating service that we met on, and his account was active. I assumed that he was showing his mom the site bc/ he said that he was so excited to have met me. Two more days had passed and his account was still active--I cancelled my account, and he told me that he was going to do the same. I kept trying to think that there was some explanation as to what was going on. I had my friend who has a similar profile to the one that I used to have "wink" at him, and to my disappointment he wrote her back with the interest of getting to date her. I felt so used and disgusted bc/ I brought him into my family and into my life, and never thought that someone like him would ever do this. He is a teacher for crying out-loud! I asked him what was going on, and he didn't even call me or write me for 4 days. When he wrote me he said that he just recently felt that our relationship didn't have anymore "potential" and that he never really wanted to be in a serious relationship but didn't know how to bring it up. He told me the basic of line of how he doesn't deserve me-which is coward's response. He said that I am a bad communicator, which is not the case. He didn't even apologize for cheating on me. I just sent him an email this morning asking him all these lingering questions that I have about us, and he hasn't responded but his dating account has been active all day. He was the first man that I ever loved, and now I don't know what to do.
I had a suspicion about my live-in boyfriend of two years. I checked his email, which led me to a site for attached people looking for affairs. I found his bio:

Believe it or not, I'm just looking for a hot and steamy affair with a gorgeous woman...no strings attached. Whether it's an ongoing thing or a one-night stand all depends on the woman. I am in a good relationship but the excitement has just gone out of it. I'm not looking to get serious with anyone else...just some good, clean, shake the walls sex.

He also had a picture up, it was one that was taken of us on holiday, but he had digitally removed me from the picture. I also found an incredibly explicit email from him to another woman. Can't repeat anything that he said on this post. I thought I was going to marry him. I thought he was about to propose. everything seemed perfect. He says he was just bored at work and that it meant nothing. He doesn't consider this cheating.
 
My boyfriend and are currently apart and this time he claims it is for good and for the better, both of which have been said before and proven false. Recently he confessed to me that he loves me and misses me so much and that he can't believe that he has done all that he has to me. (Frequent break ups over stupid issues and lies that he told and I confronted him about.) I know that I should just get over him, but a year and a half of my life is hard to just give up, so I wanted some suggestions and help. I see him now more than ever around town and with friends. It seems that I see him more now than when we were together. The only difference is that we avoid eye contact at all costs.
I am 23 and my boyfriend of four years is 43. Our relationship started off very passionately and strong until, however, he discovered the Internet and all the dating sites he could access. After 2 years of hell and finding out he was having cyber sex all over the place, I moved out. We remained together. I finally wound up cheating on him once because I felt that my lover cared about me, listened to me, and treated me with respect.. three things my boyfriend rarely exhibited toward me. Boyfriend found out, I was soon remorseful, and we "started over." From scratch, new beginnings. Didn't last long. I found out he was on the Internet again, looking for attention from anonymous women. Not for nothing, but I am an amazing woman with a LOT to offer and my boyfriend isn't exactly Prince Charming: never follows through on his decisions, asked me to marry him over and over but never with a ring, asked me to move in with him but never followed through, and he is completely irrational and unfair 90% of the time with not only me but his family as well. I am so exhausted from four years of anxiety with this man who I love so much.. I haven't cheated on him in 2 years and yet he accuses me of cheating on him all the time. Interestingly, I found out about some infidelities of his own and when I point them out and the fact that I forgive them he gets angry, screams, and starts blaming me all over again for his miserable life. I am so stuck on this guy and am not absolutely sure why but I am getting there
I had a long-distance relationship with my boyfriend for over a year and then he disappeared off the face of the earth, I tracked him down through his business (I thought he was dead or something) only to find out he was married. His wife new nothing about us. I would not have stayed with him if I knew he was married.
I actually entered this web site to find some kind of advice regarding a cheating boyfriend....yesterday I spent the night at his house and this morning I found some red sleazy underwear that were not mine. The sickest part is that I left a nasty letter and the underwear on his dining room table ......that was not closure enough. Now I want to make him cry, but I would like to stop hurting more.

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