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Well I've been with my baby's daddy for 2 years. My baby is almost 4 months. My boyfriend lied to me ever since we met, he didn't tell me he had a family and just had a newborn. anyways when I found out it was too late, I was already pregnant and had to think about my baby, I didn't want him to be like me. I grew up with no dad and didn't want the same thing to happen to him. Anyways he left her and found a place for me, him and his daughter. Not even 2 months later I found a phone # and I called it turned out to be he had someone else. He denies it up to this date and I don't know exactly what to do cause he proves or at least tries to prove that he changed but I don't believe him because he lied about his whole life including his age. I turned 20 and he turned 36.
During these past 8 1/2 months, I was led to believe that I was in a monogamous relationship with my boyfriend. This past weekend I discovered that he had been exploiting me all this time by writing emails and soliciting innocent women on the Internet into meetings, erotic chats, rendezvous', etc. I was heart broken, and I spoke with a girlfriend he had who said he had told her we were "broken apart", so she slept with him. This was a supposed business trip to California. He was also advertising himself by setting up profiles on the Internet at the more innocent dating sites, and I also to my horror saw him on two porn dating sites where he had exposed himself there. This man has a respectable job and is leading a double life. I suspect he even seduced a vulnerable 19 year old that worked there on-call for events. No wonder she acted jealous of me, and followed him around so much and never seemed to want to go home. What really has me worried is my health....he jeopardized my life, lied to me about his perverted lifestyle, and took 8 1/2 months of my life. He is a male predator, portraying he is divorced and he's not (he's separated). He is a pathological liar and cheater, a voyeur, and an exhibitionist living his life dangerously. He is preying on innocent women....and I will never date anyone again who lives a 3 hour drive away ever again. I'm warning as many women on the Internet as I can. I pray I will be lucky and that my blood tests will be ok.
Well, to make a long story short, I too am a victim to a chatcheater. Who I say is in denial. My boyfriend of 7 years who is the father of our 4 year old son goes bowling online. Where he met his first internet affair. I only discovered this when I went online after him and he got im by a woman whose opening line was good morning my love, i love u. I was crushed. He tried to tell me it was nothing he said he did not know who she is but I know better. We had a really big fight to the point where I asked him to leave. We have since made up and he said they are no longer iming each other. Although he still has other woman iming him and he says they are his friends. They all bowl together and such. He knows all about them and he tries to tell me what they talk about but he does not like it if I am looking over his shoulder cause it makes him feel as if I don't trust him. How is that one? Who do you think is the victim in this situation? I think not him. Unfortunately he feels it is the other way around. He persists on telling me that if I won't accept him having these bowling friends on line that I have no trust in him and it won't work for our relationship. He does not understand that it hurts me that he is talking to these women all the time and that he gets angry at me if I don't get off of the computer when he wants to go on for his tournaments or if he has to talk to one of his friends that he had told he would im them at a certain time. If he misses that time he says I just know how to f.... everything up for him and that I just can't stand to see him happy. I don't get it. I am damn if I do and damn if I don't. He has caused me to believe that if our relationship doesn't last it will be because of me and having no trust in him. I find that so unfair. I would not mind so much if he showed me or let me talk to them too but he insists that they are his friends and I will only make trouble. He hasn't even told them he and I live together for that matter he tells them that he is single. How are you going to act. I am told to dump him, I can find someone better. I am told he is no good, I can find someone who will appreciate me. I just don't know what to think anymore. On the outside I act as though I am a happy camper and that there is nothing wrong with what he is doing. He thinks I accept this, but I really don't. I try to avoid any fights with him so I portray to be a gracious partner and act trusting towards him. My guts don't feel the same way. This is a real bummer and I can relate to you all on this infidelity cyber crap. I just can't go figure anymore. Helpless with a partner in denial!
My boyfriend and I were coming driving to his home one day when I made the comment that when we got to his house I wanted to see what was on his computer. I knew he looked at porno stuff and really was just curious to what he was looking at....he got this real nervous look on his face and quickly changed the subject...we arrived and he tried to steer the conversation away from the computer...he went to the bathroom and when he came back I was sitting as his computer. I asked for his screen name password...and he refused...with that same deer in the headlights look...I knew something was i coaxed him into it by telling him if there was something on there we could get through it..but if he didn't let me see it..I was leaving and never coming back...reluctantly he gave in...I found not so nice letters that he was writing to some chick along with many pictures of her and one that he had sent to her...I was crushed...he swore it would never happen again..even changed his screen name and gave me the password to it...but he erases his history and checks his email 20 times a its hard to trust him... guess I will always be suspicious.
I have been with my boyfriend 2 1/2 years. Last year he cheated on me with a 16 year old girl while I was pregnant with our son. I thought the cheating had stopped since I conned him into telling me about his past relationship, but now he is coming home last again, and he makes up stupid excuses. Like last weekend he came home with a hicky, his excuse was that he and his friend were wrestling on the floor and his friend told his girlfriend to bite my boyfriend. Lame excuse???? I left him recently, but I can't stay away. He comes over all the time asking if we can "make love" and of course I give in. I know that I don't want to be with him, I just can't stand the thought of him being with someone else.
I caught my boyfriend cheating with someone at work about two years ago when he was working on a Saturday afternoon. I accidentally hit a button on his toolbar which brought me into his e-mail. As it turns out they had been "chatting" on instant messenger -- pretty graphically if you ask me before their scheduled "breaks" where they actually met and fooled around (they both worked night shifts). Unfortunately for my boyfriend, he was stupid enough to e-mail himself the chat transcripts and I found them. Worst part was that I USED TO WORK AT HIS COMPANY and I knew the woman. I confronted him AND e-mailed her. We went through a rough couple months but have been ok thus far.
The other day while i was home sick, however, I found another chat transcript he had printed out. The girl had a different screen name and the conversation sounded different -- I'm SURE this is a new person but IT IS someone at work. I confronted him again and he INSISTS it's the same person from 2 years ago and the transcript is from 2 years ago. I almost believed him but when I read the transcript again I realized that he was talking about the Yankee World Series Victory parade which happened in OCTOBER and I had caught him with the 1st girl 4th OF JULY WEEKEND. So he either kept seeing this girl after I caught him, he had been seeing her for almost a year OR I was right and this was, in fact, another girl. I don't know who to believe or what to do! We've been together for 5 years but I don't want to marry a habitual cheater!
How did you get through all of this? With never ends...I get one to stop and then he starts up another one....I have been totally crushed
I met my boyfriend on the net. He wasn't attached to anyone at the time. We spent lots of time there chatting and sending e-mails to one another. Little did I know at the time (because I couldn't prove it) he was keeping in contact with several others too, even though he said he wasn't. I asked about other e-mail accounts that he swore he didn't have. Time after time I caught him when I started looking at phone bills and yes he had the calling cards too. Cards came in the mail when I was at his house. I started doing some major defective-detective work as I call it and found out a lot. Needless to say he met with a couple of them and several times. He has recently disconnected the internet, I have passwords to e-mail accounts that he doesn't even know I have yet and have been monitoring them and his incoming calls at the house. Ok, so it doesn't sound like I trust him, but I'm working on it. I hate to end it if it can still be saved. I previously spoke to the other "*&^*&^$" so called women. They didn't know of me either and think they are "All it and a bag of chips!".
I wanted to thank you for starting this sight. I didn't have the money for a decoy or any other surveillance, but I did have the money for E-blaster.(I already posted my story on your site) Yours is the only site that I found that had any info about spector/e-blaster software. It was well worth the purchase. It only took about 3 weeks to catch my boyfriend (also the father of my 11 1/2 year old) in the chat rooms seeking an affair. We were already in counseling because of a previous affair he had had (not internet related). It's amazing how my anxiety level has gone down since I broke it off (only 3 days ago). I thought I was only making it up in my head. Thanks again for the site
I am so happy I found your site. I could write a book on the signs and emotions one has when someone is addicted to the computer. I have been going through this 4 years now and it has almost destroyed me. In the beginning my instincts we telling me something was going on, the little signs like quickly clicking the screen, to his getting up in the middle of the night. They tell you, you are crazy its all in your head, you are sick person and guess what you believe it. When you finally find out your suspicions are correct, then they justify it by blaming you. I felt unattractive, undesirable, I would lay in bed at night and cry because he was on the computer. He never has admitted it. It's all my fault, I am crazy, I caused it. You lose all self-confidence, you become obsessive trying to find out what they are doing on the computer, you can't concentrate, you blame yourself (what is wrong with me that he would prefer living life in cyber space). I am now in another phase anger, anger at him and then at myself for knowing the truth in my heart but staying in denial, for not trusting my instincts. Please for all of you going through this IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT, YOU ARE NOT CRAZY, THEY HAVE THE PROBLEM.
I will end this relationship but I thought I might as well add to this devastating matter. I found out about my boyfriend extracurricular activities last September. I was just playing around with the computer when I came across pages and pages of files of xxx sites. I confronted him and cried but he had nothing to say. Than he would stay at work late because he had "so much work to do" only later I would find out that it was to look at porn. In February, I told him he should either stop or I would leave. He told me he would stop but he never did. I also found him by his desk when I came home early with my body lotion. It was so heartbreaking. We had such a wonderful relationship. I will never ever understand. I tried to approach him so many times to talk to me freely about it, but he keeps on denying it or making excuses. Many men would die to be with me, except my boyfriend. No matter how much I love him, I will leave him for good. You can only try so much.

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