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True Stories of Cheating Husbands
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It was Mother's Day and my husband did not opt to go out with the children and me for dinner. Instead, he stayed at home to mow the lawn; which he was still doing when we returned home. Unfortunately, he had not logged out of the IM, which I had never used. While attempting to access email, I find that I am getting instant messages from two women, neither of whom seem to know he was married. He swears that they are internet friends of his gay sister. He swore that the personal ad I found was not his and it was probably done by one of the guys at work to "set him up" you know a "revenge thing". He disavowed all knowledge of the porno chat rooms I detected when I looked in the cookies. He did, eventually, admit to this; but I am just "over reacting for millions of men in this country look at porn." Well, I am a mother of three - two grown and gone; however, the youngest came in our later years and is the joy of my life. He will not admit to any wrongdoing but says he doesn't want a divorce for he, too, loves his daughter. I have chosen to stay - so many years invested and our youngest daughter needs and adores him. Our elder girls have been supportive and are hoping we can resolve this problem. I am very pragmatic and I know that my first responsibility is to my children for they are grown and gone so quickly. However, it hurts so much to know that not only have you been cheated on, but your spouse has lied to you. The internet filters are now on high - he knows why; but we pretend it is to protect our daughter, which it is if it keeps her parents together and the smut out. Maybe it is one of those mid-life things. As I have trawled the personal ads, yet again this evening to see if he's back at it, I can't help but wonder how many of these men are married. I am waiting for the day I am healed enough to stop checking. I want to trust him AND my computer again.

Your website is a source of enlightenment and its address caught his attention. Thank you for posting our stories, for the words of encouragement, and for the links to ways we can resolve the problem. Alas, I now have two friends who have also found need of this site. It is amazing how something so good can be used for something so very evil. Again, thank you for letting me vent. To all, may your lives be healed whether victim or cheater.
Wow, what a great site, if only I had known about this, I may have been able to saved a 30 yr. marriage; I knew something was wrong when my husband was at computer late at night, clicking off when I came up, pretending to be playing games on computer, but chatting with Russian lady(24 yrs younger) he ended up marrying a month after our divorce, when he told me he had no one to be with. I guess tons of folks have felt that gut retching feeling when computers are brought into our homes. It is awful what is going on out there. be careful!
I left my husband, took the children and filed for divorce when I found out how far his on-line romances were going. There were many times I was tired, bored, frustrated, angry and downright lonely through our 25 years together, but I tried to keep it together because we had something of value: our family. I was never the perfect woman, wife or mother, but then who is perfect? So many men and women are cheating via the internet. So many homes and families are being broken apart. So many children are suffering. It makes me wonder if there is a bond strong enough to stop a person from destroying a life and a history built over many years. We are all searching for the same thing: love and acceptance for the person we are. I find it highly suspect that we would be able to find that from a stranger through the internet rather than in our own homes; from the people we have lived with and loved, suffered with, endured tragedies together and laughed and made lasting memories with. But it must be so because it is happening all over the world. In my situation not only my children and myself suffered, but her children and family also suffered. How many lives were touched by this unfortunate incident that two people started in a chat room? Maybe a warning should pop up as soon as someone enters a chat room: Warning!!!! This could be hazardous to your life!
How sad that the Internet with so many positive sides also holds a "darkside" that can lead many ignorant people into something that can overtake you like any other substance abuse. My husband and I remet after 38 years through the Internet (we used to date in high school when we were only 17 years old). However, our "new" relationship was a long distance one for a year before we got married, and unfortunately I didn't really know the man I was marrying. Talking on the phone or through the Internet does not give you the true personality of that person. The Internet affords one to embelish themselves, and many people tend to say things they wouldn't really say if "face to face". Our marriage is not a good one, and after being on my own for the past 18 years, I find that being married to my "Internet love" has been a big mistake, but one that I am trying to stay with. and still trying to save. We have many problems, and one of them is that my husband is continuing to write to some other ex-girlfriends on his computer at work. (He doesn't write to them from home). I found out he was doing this after finding several e-mail addresses in his wallet. How sad that I have become a "victim" of what brought he and I together! Be careful everyone out there. The computer is a Godsend, but can also be used for a lot of evil doings!
Well this is a hard story to write for the wounds are still very fresh . Don't think they will ever be healed .. I was married for 25 years to a man that I trusted with my life and would have bet my life that cheating was the one thing he wasn't capable of.. but here goes little did i know the last 2 years of our marriage he was sleeping with who I thought was my best friend she and i did everything together and so did her husband and mine.. she was at my house everyday we shared every meal together and our two youngest children were best friend.. if only i had know the truth.. friend she wasn't i had open heart surgery 3 years ago and guess who slept in my bed the same night ...when i found out last year i kicked him out took everything and set out to destroy him .. guess i did for 33 days after our divorce was final her passed away from a she has the nerve to pretend she did nothing wrong and and that you are suppose to sleep with your friends and if i had not jumped the gun and divorced my husband so quickly that it was just a thing and would have ended.. without anyone getting hurt
my husband of 14 years left me and our twin sons for a woman he met over the internet. She was not the first he was to meet there were several others. I found quite a few emails of women he was to meet. I am finally in a decent relationship but find it very hard to trust him.
I never thought in a million years, my husband would even learn how to type. We purchased a computer and imagine I showed him how to use it. After 3 months he was getting real good at typing and I was proud of him. Then he started working nights. All day to himself. I started to wonder what was going on. He had been chatting with a woman in Oklahoma who was going through a divorce with 2 daughters. As time went on he would talk to her more and more. He started to tell me to get out of the room, he needed his space and privacy. He learned how to use voice which was how I caught him. I purchased one of those little recorders and before I would leave for work I would hide it and when I got home I realized that they were more than friends. I got him having cyber with her during the day. I was devastated! I confronted him and of course he denied it. Then I used some quotes that were said during their conversation. He had no choice but to admit it. He said it was not real. I know it is an emotional affair. He told her that I knew and said that they are just friends now. I don't know if that is true. The trust has gone. I went for therapy and am still going. He refuses to go because he still feels he did nothing wrong. We have been married 25 years. It is hard to give up a marriage after that long. I am trying to cope but it is very hard. I still record everyday and haven't heard anything so far but I have a gut feeling it is not over. I was glad to find this page. I now know I am not alone. Thank you John
I wanted to thank you for starting this sight. I didn't have the money for a decoy or any other surveillance, but I did have the money for E-blaster.(I already posted my story on your site) Yours is the only site that I found that had any info about spector/e-blaster software. It was well worth the purchase. It only took about 3 weeks to catch my boyfriend (also the father of my 11 1/2 year old) in the chat rooms seeking an affair. We were already in counseling because of a previous affair he had had (not internet related). It's amazing how my anxiety level has gone down since I broke it off (only 3 days ago). I thought I was only making it up in my head. Thanks again for the site
I have two children, that I think about every-day; and the example that their father and I are setting for them. Their father, has had many affairs over the years. These children have seen me sit at home with them as the most unhappy person in the world. Though his affairs have now ended, mine (online) have just begun. I feel no guilt about what I am doing or will do in the future. I have been loyal to my children and to a husband, that did not deserve it. The example that we both have set with on type of affair or the other, are not good ones; but neither is the example of being forced to endure a marriage, for the sake of children. Children can pick up on stress and unhappiness. So, how can one be worse than the other?
My husband and I have been together for two and a half years. We really don't
seem to have any major problems, and I know I'm an insecure person at times,
but we recently got into the whole internet thing and I found out that he's been talking to a woman online. I asked him about it and he says he won't do it
anymore. He also says that it wasn't anything to worry about. He has never given me a reason not to trust him. Am I overreacting? Is the whole internet thing something I should be concerned about? I love him and we have a great
relationship. I do not want this to be an issue between us. Am I nuts?
My story was the same as others in this website. But the man I know is kind of different; he is "the man of God" as some people would call an ordained minister sometime. I did not know he have an affair with a married woman, from his own church, left his family for her. And then she dumps him after he accompanied by his wife and children, confessed his sin in front of his congregation of many peoples. I know of these after I find out his many visits to other women from Florida, Georgia and called me to checkup on his 20 years old son for him. Well, after so many times he lied and jumped from one woman bed to the others, he blamed on Satan and all... for his sins. I'm dating him and hope that he will change. Guest what? He met a woman 5-6 hours away, and he told me it wasn't from the chat line!!! I admitted I am na´ve, but I wasn't borne yesterday! I am very sad that if he believe in God and preached God words, why he done what he did? Oh well, now I am trying to get over this and hope my feeling for those ministers changed. Even I hate him but I am praying each night that he will change his lifestyle to save his soul! But, you will never know what's on their mind, huh? And maybe this is my own medicine to heal my heart.
If your wife or husband has to spend a lot of time on the net, then what is wrong in their home environment. If the lines of communication are open at home.. then the majority of these instances would not happen. Yes I met my husband on the net in a chat room, yes he was married at the time - I was divorced. His home life was bad, (both parties faults). Through his first marriage, and our communication skills, I or he would know something was wrong if either of us were spending heaps of time on the computer. My recommendation is that you should talk to your partner - if you can't then that is the first serious issue. Wake up and smell the roses and get a life - it is not always the fault of the one who does the the chatting and it is never ONE reason alone that there are problems. it is always an accumulation of things. - TALK NOW before it's too late.
My husband who has his own company would always use the line "I am doing up reports for work". I was a fool and believed him kind of then I realized that he never had that man reports to type and he was not billing all the hours he said he was for all the work. I later found some of the emails but after I realized he was using 2 servers and I did not know about it. He did this to cover the usage of hours on the provider we shared or rather I knew about. I thought we got threw all of this but lately it seems there are just to many things going on that are similar to the past experiences to call it a coincidence. Maybe I should install a spy program!

My husband had an affair. 4 months on the internet, and one time in person. Amazing how that seems like a long time to both of us in comparison to a 9 year marriage. I always thought my best friend was crazy for mistrusting her husband, who had never given him any reason. She constantly was going through his things and checking up on him. Her Mom's theory is that men are weak. She says that if men end up at the wrong place at the wrong time, they will cheat. Never believed that until now.

The signs were there. Lots of nights on the internet, blamed on insomnia created by a medication he was on. He created my own e-mail address, so I wouldn't be sharing his. Lots more things come to mind, but too detailed to get into here. The bottom line is that I completely trusted him, ignoring all of the signs.

We're working on trying to fix it. He did have enough conscience to tell on himself. Otherwise, I would have never known. So, one day at a time, here we go. Lesson learned...don't be naive. No one is perfect.

I have been married for ten years it will be eleven in Feb. I recently discovered my husband cheating. At first he was going out on the weekends after work saying he was going to some kind of religious meetings with a coworker. I went through his jeans and found a movie stub for two. My husband told me he took some women he had just met of course didn't believe him. Any way he went away this week for three days with some friends he came back last night I thought everything was find until he came home early today and had to take something over his mom he left his work bag in the house I went through it and found flavored condoms inside. He says he never used them I think he's lying what should I do?

My husband and I had been only been married two years when It first happened.I found a love note from an older lady in is pocket while washing his clothes. He swore to me he had no idea where that came from that maybe he just picked it up, yeah right. There was a lady at his church that liked him at the time and i'm sure she did it. The one night while at home the phone rang and it was her trying to sneak and talk to him needless to say she heard a few things from me she didn't want to here. This woman was married at the time with kids. Next I started to find love letters from another woman to him on the internet now grant you our marriage was already in trouble from the first time. But this lady was also older than us and married and with kids to!! I was totally in shock two times in a row!!(And he wonders why we can't have kids?) I of course had a few choice words with her as she pretended to feel sorry for me. Well it stopped for a short time after that. But started up again!! This time I had had it I told him I was leaving if he didn't stop his stupid playing around and causing me heartache. Well he begged and pleaded. And I really think he had a problem but I still don't trust him and have lost alot of respect for him because of that. Now he's doing all he can to make me see him differently. But one more time and i'm out. Remember three strikes? How much should a wife take?

It's so good to find this site - I was feeling quite alone and most of the people I had told thought I was making a fuss over nothing! I had thought for a few months that my husband was spending way too much time online - especially as his previous opinion was that the net wasn't interesting! He was up for hours in chat rooms (I could hear the little 'ding' of the IM coming in) and he was very secretive about it. Worst of all, he ruined our family holiday by being surly and miserable all week. Last week, two postcards appeared on the mantlepiece, both from California (we're English). I took a look, and they were both from a woman, using words like 'lover' and 'sweetheart' with lots of kisses! I asked who they were from, but he didn't answer. I then waited until he was out, and took a look at his e-mails. There were over 1000 messages from the same woman, full of talk of how much they loved each other and how they are planning to meet. I was very shocked - we have been together 24 years, since we were kids.

I'm so glad there are other people who understand all this - what has hurt me most is that he's apparently told all his work-mates about his 'affair' too - and he has an album of photos of his 'lover', as well as snail mail from her.

Since then, he has password protected everything again, and hidden all the evidence from me, so he knows I looked. I just don't know what to do next.

i work nights and husband is on late he has 2 buddies that are females the one has gotten between us and has put pressure on our marriage she says she loves him and they plan to meet he says its all lies but still remains friends with her. he also says he loves me and would never meet anyone online he just likes to chat and flirt. this is ruining my self esteem and cant compete with so many who find my husband a cool guy and are interested in him even though they know hes married im fed up and still wondering will he or wont he meet them and have sex.

My story is pretty simple. My husband of 2 1/2 years decided he was going to make friends on the internet. To my disadvantage they were females. I knew something was going on when I was always waking up to hear tap, tap tap. The sound of him typing. One day I decided toosee what he was doing so I got up and asked him who was he talking to. He said no one, but i knew he was lying because he instantly minimized the screen befrore I got over there. I said pull up the screen. He did I read the message I knew it was a female. But before this I checked one of the logs in our AOL folder to find numerous screen names so I knew he was messing around. See we have a 2yr old daughter, and it sickens me to think that he didn't care about the outcome of this possibly affecting his daughter. Well I thought we worked it out. But I was wrong within 2 weeks he was at it again, but tricked him this time i set his e-mail up to save anything sent or received that had been opened in the filing cabinet, he didn't think to check the filing cabinet because he hadn't saved it there himself. I checked it one day and found 15 outgoing and 25 incoming from a few females, but one that counted. He told her he loved her, wanted to be with her, and he was in a marriage he hated. they talked about sex and other things, what makes it worst is she just like the women he told me he would date if we ever spit up. She also knew all about me and our daughter, she reffered to my daughter in some of her conversations with my husband. I can't even trust him anymore, let along my self worth just seems to get sadder everyday. They don't think there doing anything wrong even though their hinding it. They don't car about the effects it might have on the so called loved ones.

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Break Free From the Affair - Strategies and Resources to break free from the affair in a marriage that work. "Is 'Not Knowing' Killing You Inside ... Or Your Marriage? Are You Tired of All The Lies And Excuses? Are You Afraid That You'll Confirm Your Suspicions? More Importantly, Will You Ever Find Happiness Again, If It Does Exist?"Should you spy or not? By Dr. Bob Huizenga

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