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True Stories of Cheating Husbands
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After 3 years of suspecting my husband was having internet, I had spy software installed. Within 24 hours, I knew my marriage was over. When I confronted him he first said that he was just surfing e bay, then blamed me and said I was half to blame as marriage problems are 50/50
I knew that internet infidelity was a problem, but didn't realize it was such a big problem. I've been married to a wonderful man for 30 years. He started emailing women when we lived overseas five years ago. He was planning on meeting one of the women, but I found out and he was very sorry or maybe he was sorry that I found out. He didn't meet her, but he's continued to write and now IM many women. He is addicted to internet relationships at the cost of ruining our marriage. I have asked him to stop, I have asked to have his password so I can see for myself, but he refuses. I tell him he must be hiding something...but he says no. That I just don't trust him...sound familiar?? How stupid does he think I am?? He is secretive with his cell phone just like your site says...he gets phone calls at odd hours and if I'm around he doesn't answer them, everything points to his internet affairs. He says it harmless and that he sleeps with me every night. What's the problem? Now he lies to me in order to continue. This is a man that I've always trusted. What happened? How do I get him to stop? My self-esteem has hit rock bottom. Our marriage has suffered and he still won't stop. To make matters worse, he's a minister. In fact he's told me he's helping these women through a rough time. What about our rough time? This has now been going on for five years and it's time for it to stop. Thank you for you helpful site. I now know I'm not alone and have found some very helpful advice. Sad and heartbroken in Colorado
my significant other and father of my 6 year old ,has been caught w/ a addiction to a phone dating service, he 'just likes to listen' to the tune of up to $150,a day, claims there's all kinds of people there, people looking for everything, friends, lovers whatever, but in 2 and a half years of using this service he hates calling, doesn't know why he does, since he is completely happy w/ me, wants no one else, he just calls it when he's bored or to keep him awake on long car trips, which he does a lot of, it has totally destroyed me, we recently had moved into together 9 months ago, had been a long distance relationship for 8 years, I made him file bankruptcy for $80,000 debt he had when we moved into together[guess I know where the debt came from now] I bought a house here in his hometown since he convinced me it was the best place for us to raise our daughter, so now here I am in his hometown w/ his family and friends, w/ no one, I am going crazy, I saw a counselor who called this abuse and said I should leave, I still own a home in another state, and now have 2 house payments, but I have taken a leave from work to deal w/ all my stress, he has seen a counselor and plans to get to the bottom of 'his problem' but in the mean time I am dying inside, I don't trust him or my own feelings, he had even at one point stole my charge cards to pay for his phone calls, to these phone services please help me to understand
I am so glad I found this place!! I knew he was cheating 5 years ago. Even my stepson, his son from his first marriage knew and I was not willing to confront him yet. My stepson said that my husband was emailing a woman in New York and was going to visit her there. I said to my stepson, no way, we didnít have the money. It never dawned on me that he was lying to that lady online also!!! Then I found women's picture's on our hard drive of our computer in a file. He said they just" got there" and I was so computer stupid that I believed him!! Then just in April 2003 when I was diagnosed with cancer I found him again in internet adultery! Two women actually sent him birthday cards in July through the postal service, so now I had my proof to confront him with. He first denied all of it. How can you deny mail from other women??? He said he didnít want to be my caretaker. I was very sick this summer. Thank God my parents are in town to help me. I kicked him out in late July and he went running to one of the women in PA. He was gleeful on the day he left thinking he was going on to a better life. I live in a no fault divorce state, I divorced him in September, my Mom's said that I divorced my cancer. Thankfully I'm now off chemo and doing much better. I can't believe I let him stay as long as I did. I havenít heard from him in over a month, it was an email from someone "representing" him stating I couldnít find him even if I tried. Believe me, I'm not trying!!! He also owes child support in OH to his first wife. I should have never married him in the first place. A 7 year mistake my parents said is now over and I'm moving on.
i have been married for 20years. i recently found out that my husband's high school love contacted him about two years ago over the internet. from that time on, they had been talking ever since. fortunately we had been in the military and there was no personal contact, except for the computer and phone. he says that he wanted to protect me and that it was me that he really loves. i actually pushed him away...i did not know what i was doing!!! initially he told me everything was just friends...but i then found out differently. my heart is broken, my ego shattered and most of all the trust is not there. we still love each other very deeply...but i cant help but feel the only reason he is remorseful is because he was caught. please help with any advice...i want to make our marriage work.
My husband and i met online and for me i had completely stopped chatting seeing how much garbage was on yahoo. yet i had thought my husband had stopped too. About two months after our marriage i noticed girls yahoo profiles on the address scroll bar and decided to check them out. I had no idea why they were there and thought maybe it was just an innocent conversation going on. I began to "investigate" and learned that you can track conversations. So i did just that!! The emotional down fall was enormous. I was a vibrant young married wife, so naive and full of brightness and full of self esteem. But when that moment came that i had read that intimate conversation on yahoo between MY HUSBAND and some girl i fell apart. I lost all respect for him and all confidence and self esteem for me. I confronted him after tracking his conversations for about a week and he denied it. Finally i got him to admit it and he stopped for about five months (as far as i know). Just the other day i decided to be a little detective and check on his cell phone for any signs and there i found the worst part of it all. Signs of him chatting on his phone. a naked picture of a girl. Right now my husband is working out of town and in a hotel by himself and i can't help but think of whats going on. It's hard to know what to do about this situation when i've been taught to work through things and that ALL marriages can last. But yet i am so utterly alone and stuck in this life of trying to be happy when i'm not. My husband, as well as many others, also believes we're over reacting and that there's nothing wrong with what he's doing. For me i know there's a lot wrong with it because of the way it makes me feel. It's so destructive and i hope that one day he will come to that realization.
This is how my story starts I am a 29 year old female my husband is 35 I had sex with an 18 year old I was surprised that guy like me because I am so much older but it was a blast! The reason I cheated because my husband never paid any attention to me and this other man made me feel important I know it was just sex but what great sex it was. The man has moved away and it really upset me so see to me it was more than just sex what is worse it that I miss him everyday. So now I find myself searching for another man to fill the void is. My husband always works which there is nothing wrong with that but when he is not working he is always outside or out some were and I am always stuck with the kids I am sure a lot of the women out there know what I am talking about.
My husband left me after 23 years of marriage and moved to Mass. where the married person he was chatting with lived. I still struggle with this after being divorced for five years as of Dec. 15 and I no longer trust anyone. He even took me up there to meet these people on a vacation a month before he left me which made it even worse. I just never dreamed that this could happen and am still not sure how to deal with it.
I have been going to domestic violence counseling since October of this year. My counselor told me about seeing a broadcast this weekend on TV and she thought about me. My husband had been having Internet affairs for a long time and it took me forever to face the truth and break it off. How I wish I had known about this site a long time ago and spared my self so much needless pain and faultfinding within myself. I don't know who you are or how you came to be with this site and whoever is responsible for it but please know I appreciate your concern and interest in this site and everyone else behind the scenes of it. This site brings sanity to people like me who have been living a life of betrayal and confusion inflicted by an unfaithful spouse.
I just seen your web site on a TV, I wish i had found a site like this in 1999 when i found out my now ex husband was cheating online. I did catch him because i knew a bit about computers and icq chat (he forgot to clear his history when he was chatting to other ladies) I came to find out he was cheating with a lady who was also a scout leader in the group our son and her son attended. Once i found the icq history I also found a scout calendar on the outings there were supposed to have with the group of boys (just to find out the 2 of them were telling myself and her husband it was a scout group function and it wasn't). When i confronted him with every thing I knew which took me about 3 months to get enough on him all he could do was put his head too the floor and say "oh my god you know every thing" I said yes i do. He then became angry at me and said i was invading his private life go figure a cheater tries to turn the tables huh. The reason i decided to write this email is because my son and the other women's son were best of buddies and our sons found out about all of this and it destroyed their friendship so too all you cheaters out there remember when you cheat its not just your spouse you hurt it could also be your children.
I just found out my husband has been having sex with others, I have constantly said he never would. What I fool I have been. Yes, he wasn't always getting good sex at home, but he would constantly be arguing with me and I couldn't put out when he treated me so poorly. I convinced him into telling me his episodes., I don't believe he has told me everything yet....now the stories are playing in my mind and I get so mad at him. I know I still love him after 22 years but not in love with him. He feels the same. Now I wish it was me who went through with some of the chances that I had to be unfaithful. I'm feeling worthless and very pissed at him and then very mad at myself for not being more sexual. Could I have held he back from cheating then...I don't know. There were so many signs, one time (I barely even remember) a gal called me and told me he was cheating with a red head, of course he denied it but now he admitted to me about that one. I'm going nuts with all my thoughts and I thought it might help just to type them out. I can't imagine life without him, but so mad at him now I can't imagine getting over this. I think I just want someone make me forget about him. I'm going crazy.
I wish I had know about this site a couple of years ago. In fact I wish I knew more about the internet. My (ex)husband knew everything about navigating the internet and I knew nothing. I never had a clue. He would spend all of his time on the computer. When I would come into the room, he would minimize the screen. I was oblivious. We were married for 20 plus years. I had no reason to suspect anything. We were having trouble communicating, which seemed all of a sudden. He was trying out more things sexually, and they were "really kinky things". He told me that nothing was wrong with our sex life, but that he just wanted to spice up our sex. The night before our 21st wedding anniversary, he told me we had nothing to celebrate as we did not have a marriage and he never loved me. A couple of weeks later, we split up due to this. We agreed to counseling. I was the one that moved out, but would come over. My car was ran into and I went to the house to talk to him as I was upset and wanted help dealing with the insurance agency, and he led me into the kitchen, all the while closing all other doors to the other rooms. There were fresh flowers in the kitchen. I noticed them, but it did not ring a bell. I loved him and knew he wouldn't cheat on me. We were going to counseling for Pete's sake!! After our second counseling session, he called a halt to counseling. I then talked to a neighbor and through aggressive prodding, found out about the other woman. Then I found out from other "friends" that they knew all about his romance. He had met her on the internet. I then found out that he had been visiting several sites, and had this particular person over a lot, in fact had dates with her each nite we were in counseling. He had the romance going on for a long time. After he realized I had found out, he then told me what internet site he found her on and suggested that I go there to find me a new person!!! We have been divorced for a year and half now, and it still hurts as much as it did the first day, but I am trying to move on with my life, but I will NEVER go to an internet dating service.
I have been married for nearly four years and recently caught my husband in an internet/online affair of sort. I noticed many times while he was supposedly online checking different websites that he had a Yahoo Messenger on and would close the chat boxes quickly when I came in the room. I acted like it didn't bother me but one day about four months ago, I bought some spyware and was able to record his conversations and Emails. As it turned out, my husband has numerous "secret" yahoo IDs and yahoo email addresses and he spends countless hours talking to both women and men and setting up times to meet them for affairs, casual and meaningless sex. I never had any idea my husband was homosexual but he used the internet to explore this fantasy and then made it a reality. When I read some of the things he was writing and the people he was corresponding with, I was totally crushed but I had a hard time believing it. I decided to play along with his behavior and continue to act like I didn't know and see if I could catch him in the act or find out if he was just fantasizing. It only took about a week and I caught him red handed. I told him I was going to a dinner meeting for our local chamber of commerce and many of the important people in our small town in Arkansas would be there so I would not be home until late. He believed I would be gone from 6 p.m. to at least 9 or 10 and that would give him plenty of time to meet this man he had been talking with. I never went to any dinner meeting but just waited until sometime around 7:30 or 7:45 that evening and then I quietly went back inside my house. I found him having homosexual sex in our living room with another man so I asked him what he was doing and he just grabbed for some clothes and didn't say anything. He refused to ever talk to me about it, so I filed for a divorced a couple of weeks ago. Im not sure if its the internet's fault but it played a role in it my marriage's demise. However, I started chatting too and I have found several people to meet. Maybe they can help me mend my broken heart. Thanks for this website and letting me pour out my story to all of you.
I just want to say that I saw your web site tonight on tv, and it is so amazing how God led me to find you. I am a victim of a husband who seeks other women on the internet, calls himself divorced, and pays to join dating services. I don't think there is sex involved, but he won't quit what he is doing. Our divorce will be final this month, he filed, and I am devastated. I wish I never seen our computer. I plan to go thru all of your articles. You have been there, and if you felt like I feel now, I don't know how you survived. Thank you for this web site. I do think it will help me get thru this somehow. God Bless your work!!!!!
My husband of 12 years started "chatting" in 2002, sending and receiving emails looking for a "discreet relationship". By accident I found one of the emails on his computer (when I confronted him about it, his response was "Do you think I'm stupid enough to have that kind of email on my home computer?"). It has now been six months, and though I do still check on him even though I shouldn't, I feel that he is having an affair, his "little blue pills" disappear, and he is out of the office "looking at job sites" on the same mornings as the pills disappear. I confronted him last week about it, not accusingly, but just asked him if he is having an affair. He of course denied it, but I feel it in my gut that he is cheating. I guess I just don't understand the mind of a cheater. If you are not satisfied with your home life, move on. Don't ruin everyone in your family, just move on!! I have 4 children, all of which will be crushed if my beliefs come to be confirmed, especially his youngest daughter who is now 11 and thinks that her Daddy is the greatest and can do no wrong. I can't do the spyware on his computer, he uses the one at his work since I found the email at home. I love my husband very much, but if, and when, I confirm that he is cheating, he's gone. I gave him an opportunity to be honest with me when I asked him last week, and since he lied to me about it, when I get the concrete proof I know will show up, there won't be another chance for him to come clean, it won't matter any more.
I seriously thought my husband was cheating on me so I used a gps tracking device to find out where he was going. Well I didn't find another women but I found out he was getting or got addicted to gambling which is just as bad.
my husband seems hell bent on finding women and making friends on line, and in person, and lying about it, i recently found out he has been talking to on the phone and in person and on line with 4 women. he said he wont do it any more. yeah, ok, and its MY fault. cause he should be allowed to have friends they arent involved physically, he just wanted, "emotional attention" please, what am I here for??? see, i have a male friend i grew up with, and we maintained that friendship over the years, faguely, but i introduced them to each other and they spend time together without me as well, i think that is a bit different than what he is doing!
I have been married for 7 yrs. w/2 small children, recently I caught my husband cheating! He always said he wanted the guys night out every other fri. night, so I thought ya why not, you work all week go out and enjoy yourself! well as the time went by he was on the computer every night! but he waited till i would go to bed first! well if i got up to get a drink or something i would pop in there where he was with the computer and he would close it out real fast! well i begin to get these weird feelings so I had my sister load NetNanny on our computer! well it blew the whole computer up! so he got sooooo mad that he couldn't use the computer! then he started using our house phone, but again waited till i would go to sleep! i then found a device that records phone numbers and messages incoming/outgoing, I let it run for a few weeks, and sure enough i was right! he had met a women was obviously communicating through the computer since it blew up then he was using the phone! i had heard all i needed to! never once in a million years would i have thought he would do something like this! i was very upset, i am a working f/t mom, i had dinner on the table every night for him!, i made his lunch everyday, i did the laundry etc........where did i go wrong, well when he told me he was going hunting for the weekend (he never hunts) then i new again something was up! sure enough after hearing my messages on my device! he was going to spend the weekend with that women, she even new he was married w/a family! I had the divorce papers delivered to him at his work that night he was getting ready to leave for that womens house! he was sooo shocked! I called him at the womens house asking him what are you going to do? keep hanging w/her or get back home! I have given him another chance, we go to church every sunday and there is NO computer in our home!!
i found out christmas eve 2002 that my husband of eight years (dated 7 yrs before that) was having an affair with a 29 yr old he being 49, he says he wasn't happy here any more, and that she puts him first and understands him better then me. he is a over the road truck driver as so was she, this is how they met, Jan, 2003 he moved in with her at her home and he filed for divorce three weeks later, now as of today April 2004 we are divorced now for six weeks, and his girlfriend just had his baby, i have such down moments of anger and anxiety, he left me with two kids that are mine from a previous marriage that he helped raise for thirteen years, and has just walked away, not to mention he was married once before, before we met, and had three kids with that wife and walked away from them as well, Will he do it to this new one too? he had away of making me feel when we were married that i was the first person that made him happy and understood him. i really thought we would of been together for life. this was the second affair he had on me, first one was short lived and she too was twenty years younger then he at the time. I get angry at myself for still missing our life together and yet get really angry that he just walked away and didn't look back, he really hurt me and my kids bad and now he is out there living a new life with a new baby and his world is great, and ours here is day to day, he left us with all the debt, and didn't get any of it thru the divorce hearing, why do people cheat? will he cheat on this new one too? was it my fault? all these questions. If we were so bad here, why start a new life with a new baby and still the same financial problems there that he couldn't take here? I loved him so so much. and i think i always will, i have had dates, but i come home crying in the end cause i just don't want to do this again. He cheated and his life went on, mine and my kids lives have changed more then his. this just is not fair. he should have to hurt too. infidelity is very painful for many involved and they don't consider this. how do you get past the betrayal and anger and resentment? I still fall apart and have crying bouts, I miss his family, they have stayed away at his request. I really thought he and i were soul mates, how could i have been so wrong about him?

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