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it led to at least 2 physical contacts out of the country....

For many months my wife's use of her laptop has been increasing. She spends more than a 150 hours a month on-line. I know she has been chat cheating and it led to at least 2 physical contacts out of the country. She was foolish enough to save some of her memorable chat sessions on disks and I found them. I have been devestated. We have 2 children 11 & 14 and our entire lives have suffered from this. I confronted her and we have just begun counseling. She still goes online whenever she can so I think I need monotoring software.

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if your spouse is vulnerable due to mental illness, take special precautions...

My spouse is bi-polar and went onto a chat site for people with this illness. I can't imagine WHY a site for people with mental illness would not have some preventative measures in place, BUT,spouse began conversing with this other person(opposite sex) in private chat, then direct e-mail.When a person is in the depressive state, they often take a negative view of those closest to them. Then this new on line pal seemed all the better in spouses eyes, so understanding, so supportive, so much in common....spouse ended up taking off out of the blue to visit this friend, 2000 miles away with disastrous consequences.Please, if your spouse is vulnerable due to mental illness, take special precautions like monitoring software and keep the computer in an open area.

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i love her so much will she ever come back to me...

me and my wife have been married for ten years and i never relly thought that this would happend to me she only new the guy for three days we have to little girls and i love her so much will she ever come back to me

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my wife is the person who sent-Hello im addicted to chat rooms...

my wife is the person who sent-Hello im addicted to chat rooms and i hide nothing from my husband.----Well,she was lying.A few days after sending the letter to you,she made a mistake with her secret e-mail,and i saw some of her mail-sent and received.She finally admitted to sneeking for 2-3 months.She told me-NO MORE SECRETS-but i dont believe her.She told me the same thing 6 monthes ago,when i caught her sneeking the first time.I think shes obsessed with men and cyber sex.

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I was wondering if your software even records IMs....

I was wondering if your software even records IMs and is there any way around this software once it is installed? What I mean is there anyway they can turn it off if they suspect it is there?

Yes, the Spector software records IM's (if you set it to do so), and it cannot be disabled, unless they discover your secret password. ---John

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All the signs were there, I guess I did not want to believe it...

I never thought it would happen to me. All the signs were there, I guess I did not want to believe it. Too late now.

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One of my wifes friends hooked her up to ICQ...

We got a computer about 1 & 1/2 years ago and then the internet. One of my wifes friends hooked her up to ICQ. I didn't think much of it until she was up half the night chatting. Then she put a Password on ICQ to,"keep the kids off", but she wouldn't tell me the password because I was "invading her privacy". Then one day, I stumbled across stored E-mail, And found some where she talked to a friend about an ICQ buddy who told her he loved her. She then asked her friend not to tell me anything. My suspicions were aroused when I couldn't find the phone bill, but it had been paid. I looked for it and found it hidden in the closet.It had 3 calls to another country on it. Then I noted missing floppies,found those in the same place, and 1 actually had a webcam picture of some guys eract penis on it. I confronted her with the evidence,asked her if she "cybered" and she vehemently denied it. Nothing was resolved, and then I found a jpeg on the computer of her naked.She had taken the picture of herself with a polaroid camera. She sees nothing wrong with what she has done and seems furious that I have "invaded her privacy" and that I am "trying to control her" She has refused to take counselling, but I chose to and learned how not to let my emotions rule my thoughts and actions. We are still together, but there is no trust in the relationship and it is only for economic reasons that we remain together.

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Also, another tip for AOL user: To check how many e-mails....

Is there any way to have AOL store the e-mails sent and received in the personal filing cabinet when they're not on the computer that their screen name originates from? I would post this on the message board, but I suspect my boyfriend and want to remain anonymous. Also, another tip for AOL user: To check how many e-mails are waiting to be read: When you're signed on under your screen name...click on "Sign off" at the top of the screen, then click on "switch screen name" it will show you the screen names in the computer and how many e-mails are waiting. Not much help but if you know the password of the account, you don't have to waste any time signing on if there isn't anything to read.

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Being married and lonely I decided to put an ad on the net...

My story is one that starts off happy and ends very painful. Being married and lonely I decided to put an ad on the net just to see what the results would be. As luck would have it met a stunning caring married women who has been having affairs for years. Feel head over heels for her and hoped that I could be the one. Thought I had something special to offer.

How wrong I was, as they always say once a cheater always a cheater. I spent the last two years believing we had each found our soulmate. Was I the fool. While I was doing everything in my power to please this special woman, she was sleeping with other men. No caring about what it was doing to her husband or me. I should have known any woman who would give up the opportunity to bring life into the world had to be very cold.

Yes you can find love on line but the final outcome will always be the worst possible pain imaginable. I'll tell one and all I wish I hadn't gone down this path.

What truly amazes me is that there are woman out there who truly have no respect for themselves at all, I will never travel this road again. Too many pot holes.

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I caught her cheating with her boss....

Well in the past two weeks I caught her cheating with her boss and I found out she was married. I have been engaged to her for 6 months. All I can say is why did'nt I see all of this.

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i caught them in some sexual acts...

my wife had been cheating on me for almost two months. He was a friend. They would talk after i went to sleep and eventually started doing sexual things. It got to where they were talking and emailing one another without my knowledge. i caught them in some sexual acts and ended the friendship immediately.So we began to repair our relationship and all seemed to go well.Then I had a gut feeling that things were still not right.I began to try and figure out her password to see if they still had something going on. Well whaam,i got in. I found out that they hadnt missed a beat.they were still talking.they even went as far as to start meeting somewhere. Planning it.. I called her work and asked her what she had planned after her drs. appt.the next day?? she asked me what i meant and i replied with where their favorite spot is that they like to meet.she was very suprised.she replied with please dont do anything,i will be home soon.well,we have been able to discuss it and we still are going to try and work it out. so far things seem to be going well. I really hope so,cause I really love her...thank you for listening.(reading)

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she was supposedly going shopping with her friend....

Let me start by saying that I love my wife. She is a nice looking 36 yr. old mother of two children. She works hard at keeping herself in good shape and visits a gym 3 times a week. She also waitress's 2 nights a week. It is there that she met *****. ***** is a local contractor and I know that he has been screwing my wife for the past 6 months. I caught her meeting him on a night that she was supposedly going shopping with her friend. As it turned out her friend called when she was out and I waited up for her to return. When she came home I confronted her and she admitted that she and ***** had been having an affair. He is also married and we have talked about this at great length. She and I feel that we can handle this, so we will see.

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